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so today i had to tell the guy i like i like him cause his bestfriend told me i should cause he likes me to … i had the guts to which i never did before for anyone.. i tell him and he say no :/ and it wasnt even a good reason. :’( i just walked away and broke into tears.. i will never have the guts to do this ever again.
Divorce. Two people split up. Not for me hes staying the man that has caused so much shit so much stress is staying even though there still getting a divorce. And you get mad at me for crying? Heartless bastard cant you tell wendont want you? We fucking hate you but your staying. Go fuck someones else life up because your unwanted here.
My sleeves soaked with my blood. The razor bites going down my arm. Do you enjoy being the reason of this distruction? Do you enjoy being the reason for my failure? Despite what fate has instore for me you will destine to destroy it. You will put me farther in this darkened hell for you are my satan. Perish me to ashes oh deadly one for you have shattered the heart of your daughter.
Discovering this blackened path, i see you in the depths of my shadows. Memories come back to life stricking me through the chest. My world has fallen beneath me and i can never find ground. Dont you see me? Im right here in front of you but its as if im a simple gust of wind disapearing throughout the atmosphere. I wont let you justify me for i have my past to do that and the future that will unfold before me will verify just how weak i am. Thats what others tell me, that im weak but if i walked them through my life they might just see that i am not weak but someone who has held on to long. Worthless they say but if i showed them my point of view of the world would they call me wise or lost. What if i became visible to you? Would you look to the person inside of this saddened soul or would you judge the outside of me, the part that repels everyone, the part the world and its harmful discrasive disapointments has turned me into. Ill turn away, walk until my heart has forever lost its beat and ill keep this pain as a memory as a reminder that love doesnt and hasnt ever existed in this world but i also must be thankful for you have taught me the true meaning of hate.
Over it.
Im gone. I no longer will suffer the tortures of you looking down on me. I wont try to make you happy anymore. You brought my hopes up so high just to tear me down and what enjoyment does that really bring? That i would cry for you? That i would literally tear my life apart just to satisfy you? Dont you see that i love you? I would walk through any obstacle any life threatening situation just to know that there could be a chance for me. Im sorry i was never good enough. That i wasnt worth it. I walk these endless roads between us, the roads that seperate us to great distances but somehow you found a way around them found a way to play with my heart and just walk away because you knew it would hurt me. Knew it would drive me insane. Heartbreak brings intense displeasure and once you break a heart its hard to mend and sometimes breaking a heart can make someone feel so worthless so invisible that it isnt worth it anymore and they just give up.
